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Laughing to Cope

Image Credit: dailymail.co.uk Huu Hung Truong: 2013 Sony World Photography Awards


A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

…ahhh

LMAO!


I connected with a wonderfully bubbly woman when I was at one of my lowest lows.  We met quite by chance and immediately clicked like we were life-long friends.  We were in the same boat, she and I, both at extreme low points in our lives, both under the influence of uncontrollable tears, fears and the urge to hurt ourselves and end our lives.

But we laughed.  I didn’t understand it, and I really didn’t care, but oh boy, we laughed.

We laughed at everything, funny things, stupid things, serious things and of course, we laughed at ourselves.

Of everything that I have experienced, laughing with this woman was the most healing during a very dark and difficult time.

Laughing kept me from crying.

Laughing kept me from thinking.

Laughing shook my body and kept me present because I was feeling and experiencing.

Laughing made it easier to cope when I felt that I had nothing left in me for another day.

Laughing relieved some my pain inside, releasing it through positive emotions rather than through tears.

Thankfully, my brain functions normally in releasing feel good endorphins when stimulated by laughter.  I felt good even though I felt like dying.

People looked at us and shook their heads.  They couldn’t understand how we could still laugh, knowing the condition of our mental state.

Did we disturb others with our ruckus?

We probably did, but it helped us to cope, and it helped us to get through.

Laughing Buddha

This holiday season give yourself the gift of laughter.

Wouldn’t it be great to go see a comedy show?  Is there a comedy club near you?

Maybe go see a comedy play or movie.

Have no one to go with?  Don’t let that stop you.  Go anyway.  It might do you good!

It’s always better to get out, but if you can’t, than treat yourself with a movie rental, make some popcorn and enjoy it at home.

Pursue that good hard belly laugh!

Go ahead!  It’ll be good!

Or do it if only to prove me wrong and be sure to let me know about it!

Cheers!

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“Making Your Way In The World Today Takes Everything You Got”


Making your way in the world today takes everything you got;

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?”

Theme song lyrics from “Cheers”, American Television Sitcom 1982-1993


For some of us, there is no taking a break from all our worries, because the worries are inside us, inside our heads, wreaking havoc inside our minds.

A reader asked me recently if I carry on in the hope that the Depression lifts.

I can only reply that I can only do my best on any given day.

I carry on, not in the hope that the depressions lifts.  I carry on for the exquisite rays of light that occasionally pierces through the darkness, and for the moments of love and happiness that brighten my world now and then.  I have seen the splendour and magnificence of beauty and joy.  That is what keeps me going.

Is that enough?

Who knows what’s on the other side life?  Maybe we take the pain with us if we die while in the grips of despair.   Wouldn’t that be the ultimate irony, committing suicide because of the need to stop the pain, only to writh in that pain into perpetuity?

Everyone has ups and downs.  No one is in perpetual bliss.  Even the brightest flames diminish in the dampening rain.

For people with Depression however, the downs are much deeper and darker than for others.  The rain becomes a torrential hurricane complete with tsunami tidal wave.

I have learned to ride the emotional coaster better, by being aware of the pattern of ups and downs.  It helps to have an arsenal of coping tools in my self-management toolbox to help me get through the lowest times; everything from spiritual healing to comedy relief and everything in between.  I have also learned that it’s O.K. reach out and ask for help.

I used to question what it was all for, the constant struggle that is life.

Survival?

But why?

Procreation?

I have procreated.  Does that mean I am done?

What’s the point?

According to Oprah Winfrey;


“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.”


For me, for now, I am the person that I am; faulty, flawed and imperfect, trying to embrace with gratitude every small moment of joy I am given, before I am drawn under again by the next wave of darkness that hits.

I don’t make excuses for the way that I am anymore, and I don’t apologize either, for the sudden tears, or the occasional need for a small retreat from the world.  I don’t make excuses for needing to take medications to stabilize my mental health.  I don’t make excuses for needing support to get me through sinkholes in the road.

Do I want to evolve into the “complete person” I was intended to be? photo 3 (7)

What does that even mean?

Or maybe I have evolved, and this is the complete person I am intended to be this go round.  Imperfectly perfect.

I can accept that, or, I can continue searching, discontent in mind, body and spirit, straining and craving to change into some intangible “complete” entity I am told I should aspire to.

There is only one answer that makes sense right now.

“… grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time…”

~Reinhold Niebuhr

Gratitude

Numerous studies show that people who regularly express gratitude for the things and people in their lives are happier, less stressed, and have higher self-esteem. And in studies asking people to write and read a gratitude letter aloud to its recipient, participants reported immediate increases in happiness and decreases in depressive symptoms. ~ happify.com

Okay, so here goes.

Photo Credit:  Sandi Yee

Photo Credit: Sandi Yee

My Dear Daughter,

Thank you for bringing true joy into my life.

From the moment you were born, you have been the constant light that shines in our house.

I appreciate how much love, support and effort you always give to everyone in around you.

Your compassion when I am ill keeps me sane, and gives me comfort by showing me how much you care. The sweet sound of your voice melts my heart, I would do anything to hear you call me Mommy. Your little hands holding mine give me strength and determination to be the best that I can be, to give the best that I can give, and to do all that I can do to make this world a better place for you.

You inspire me to be a better person, because you are pure and uncorrupt.

I see the best of humanity in you.

I see the best of me in you.

You are a wonderful reminder everyday that I have done something truly remarkable, by giving the world the delight that is you.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for being in my life.

And lastly, thank you for being the best reason to live for, your love.

I love you.