My Response to A Reader Comment
I would like to take this opportunity to respond to a reader, by the name of “James”, who made a comment on the previous blog article, A Mom Soldiers On, October 19, 2014;
“You’d also be an anchor for her if you can’t provide for her.” ~James
I felt that this comment warranted a comprehensive response, and deserving of a dedicated post.
This comment would be true enough if you are referring to financial provisions. I can say with confidence and gratitude that we are blessed to be financially stable. She has everything she needs for food, education, shelter, and material goods. Her physical and financial welfare will never be in jeopardy.
The point of A Mom Soldiers On is about the challenge of motherhood while living with the daily struggles of chronic depression. It is about the psychological and emotional impact that this condition has on me and my children.
This blog Managing Depression is dedicated to the entire experience of chronic depression. I express clearly, that this mental health condition is most definitely an anchor, in fact, it is a ginormous burden to my family, day in and day out.
Yes, I would be anchor for her, if all I did was wallow in self-pity. Yes, I would be an anchor to her if she had to take care of me, instead of me taking care of her.
Yes, I would be an anchor if I was never able to get out of my own head and be emotionally available and present when she comes home crying from teenage high school drama.
Yes, I would be an anchor if I did not get up or do anything that a mom does, like buy groceries, make nutritious meals, oversee homework, maintain the house, pay the bills, and the never-ever ending loads of laundry.
Yes I would be an anchor.
But that is what the article A Mom Soldiers on is about.
It is about NOT allowing the depression to be an anchor, despite having to drag along the enormous weight of chronic depression.
It’s about finding the strength and will to get up and do what a mother has to do, and be present as mother should be for her child.
My first reaction to James’ comment was hurt, and then I feared that it might be true, that I would be an anchor. But after a few minutes of reflection, my valuable contributions as a mother came to mind, vivid and clear.
I have not allowed my chronic condition of Depression to anchor me. Despite it, I have reared strong-willed, intelligent, conscientious, well adjusted, young ladies who are full of love and compassion for the world around them. I am proud of the job I have done as a mother, and foresee myself continuing on the same road.
I have come a long way in recovery, in understanding the nuances of my emotional fluctuations, and the best methods of how to manage them. Yes, my children have seen me down and they have seen me fall, but they have also seen me fight against it. They have seen me get up, they have seen me show up, and they have seen me rise despite the darkness I tow.
Thank you James, for making this an opportunity for me to candidly remind us moms who cope daily with depression, that we are still able to make significant positive impacts, despite our demons.
We do what we do as mothers because we draw our strength from that special well deep inside us, fed by the eternal spring of divine love, a mother’s love.