Welcome

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Living with chronic depression is a daily process.

It is a management of emotions each and every day, from morning til night.

It is the commitment to look up, even as you are drowning.

For many who have never experienced depression, it is difficult to understand that it is a disease, an illness that needs constant and consistent treatment. One can never fall off the wagon, because falling off the wagon could mean death.

I am talking about Chronic Clinical Depression, the kind of depression that never goes away, no matter how good life is, no matter how many people surround you with their love. The kind of depression that grabs hold of your entire being, your heart and your soul, and pulls you down so deep that you are submerged in an abyss of darkness where there is no air to breathe, no light to see, no love to feel. There is only pain and aching hopelessness.

I have lived with depression my entire life.  At 42, I am finally strong enough and secure enough to share the struggle that has consumed me for as long as I can remember.

In my search for an understanding of my depression, healing, and trying to make sense of what was happening to me, I have looked to so many people, to so many sources, only to find more of the same negativity and despair I was struggling with.

Yes, there is information out there, clinical, unfeeling statistics of what depression is, how it can affect people, and how to get help and get better. And then there is the “woe is me”, bitter wailings of people who can’t move on from being fired, from getting dumped, from getting rejected, from life.

I did not want any of that.

I wanted to find hope. I needed to find hope.

I needed a path that I could walk, with someone whose story was similar to mine, that I could walk alongside and share my journey with.

I finally found someone who could be this for me, and more.  It took me a long time to finally find a sense of belonging and camaraderie with someone going through the same daily struggles as me.

Image credit: MotivatingGiraffe.com

Image credit: MotivatingGiraffe.com

She is my Godsend, my someone to talk to, who is going through the same daily struggle, the same medications, with children, husband and family situation that was and is parallel to mine.  Having her helped me to really know that I am not alone, that I am not crazy, or lazy, or inadequate for this life. Thank you, Heather.

It is with this in my mind that I write this blog. I want this to be a place of hope, of healing and sharing, of finding safety and a sense belonging in the comfort of knowing that I also walk this journey of living with depression with you, my reader. I encourage you to share your stories with me, to comment on my posts, and allow me to share your stories with others as well.

Together, we don’t have to feel alone.

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19 thoughts on “Welcome

  1. I too have chronic depression. When I was younger nobody realized what it was. My grandparents thought I was an introvert and lazy (calling me names, putting me on diets, and into social settings that really did more damage than good), my mother thought I was too smart for my age and was constantly trying to find ways to challenge me and get me out of my own head. I also have anxiety and some OCD. I feel bad for my poor husband. lol. There are days I dont want to get out of bed, and nights I cant sleep for no reason at all. Depression is a daily battle that is exhausting. I say all that to comment, I know how you feel. We are not alone. It feels so good to say that. I am looking forward to reading your posts and getting through the “daily-ness” (its what I’ve come to call it) together. Thank you for your bravery, your words, and most importantly your hope.

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    • Hi Deborah! Lol, I feel sorry for my husband too sometimes!
      Thank you for sharing the story of your own battle. One thing at a time, day at a time, and the journey won’t seem so daunting, especially when we have support and solidarity. Please visit anytime. Many blessings your way… 😀

      Like

  2. I don’t have depression, only phases where I’m depressed, but so many people I know suffer from more or less severe depression. Your words are beautiful and inspiring. I’m looking forward to more of your posts.

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    • Hello GaH,
      Thank you for your positive feedback. Depression touches so many people, yet still so taboo to talk about.
      You have a passion for writing and the stories in head want out. So let them out, use your passion and write!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey 🙂 I have no depression, nevertheless I am happy I found this article. As I love to say – people will always judge, as defense, as a basic protection, so don’t think they reject you because of depression. I am always rejected by majority of people and I am happy with this: it is self-selection. Only those, who can understand us and take us without the labels deserve our attention and love 🙂
    You are a great woman with a great courage and I appreciate how strong you are and you should keep on despite everything or anybody 🙂

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  4. What a great article. I really identified with the ‘lazy’ comment. A lot of us who suffer with depression often have other stuff going on. Anxiety, a little bit of OCD, self esteem issues etc. It’s like a soup of stuff. I for one care a lot about how people perceive me, so at times when things get bad & I’m not as productive as I feel I should be I worry about people thinking I’m lazy. Took me a long time to deal with this issue. Thanks for putting it out there. It’s nice to hear someone else say it too.

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  5. You put a face on a misunderstood disease. I too suffer from depression. It is a constant battle. Many people don’t understand, especially on how it doesn’t take much. I love your honesty and look forward to your posts. This is great sanctuary for people who suffer from chronic depression.

    Liked by 1 person

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