“What does she have to be depressed about?”
“I am not depressed. I have Depression.”
I have a good life.
I live in a free country, where I have no fears for my physical safety, where I am free from threats of political or terrorist violence.
I have a good home, a good family, clean healthy food and water every day to feed my body, spiritual connection to feed my spirit, and pharmaceuticals help to stabilize my mental health.
Indeed, what do I have to be depressed about?
I am not depressed.
I have depression.
I have a mental health illness due to a possible deficiency in the levels of serotonin produced and/or absorbed by my body.
No one knows for certain where depression comes from, how or why. There is only hypothesis, an educated guess based on what can be observed and measured.
Serotonin is a chemical produced in our bodies that acts as a neurotransmitter, helping to send signals from and to different areas of the brain. As a neurotransmitter, serotonin influences a large majority of brain cells, including brain cells that affect mood.
My doctor officially diagnosed me with Chronic Clinical Depression. He prescribed antidepressant, Citalopram (the generic prescription substitution for Celexa), for my condition, and later added another prescription to help boost the effects of this one. He explained to me that this medication was going to help my brain grow receptors for serotonin, to help my body absorb more of the chemical (serotonin) into my system. Hopefully, this should help lift my depressive state of emotion. He said that it was going to take time for the receptors to grow, and to begin absorbing more serotonin, about two weeks or so.
Sure enough, after a few weeks, I began to feel emotionally lighter, less of an urge to curl into myself and cry.
My thought patterns changed. Where previously I had daily thoughts, ideas and plans of killing myself, after taking the prescription for a few weeks, those thoughts no longer lingered in my mind.
I felt lighter in mood, body and spirit. The awful weight that had stooped my shoulders, dragged at my feet and darkened my path, one day suddenly dissolved itself.I could finally breathe a full, deep breath.
The medication worked! It really worked! Finally, a happy pill!
“Nope, not a happy pill,” said Dr. W.
Dr. W. said that this drug will NOT make me happy. It is a drug that will help bring me back to my normal self, that I otherwise would be if my biochemical levels were normal.
As it happens, it would seem that I am normally a giggling, dancing, laughing, singing, type of person.
Cheers to that! 😀
I am and always will be, a work in progress. It has taken years of counselling and therapy, trials on different medications and prescription cocktails, many painful hours of introspection, and a network of strong support to see me still standing.
I am still standing.